


A Mile in Your Shoes

by orphan_account



Series: Hamilton Pisses Off Witches [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Bodyswap, But only the finest crack, Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 23:10:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that time tumblr dared me to write this? They were all like "please don't write this" and I was like "don't tell me what to do, tumblr" then I wrote it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mile in Your Shoes

“Did you just try to trip me?” They had been walking in tense silence for a while. Unfortunately, they both were headed to the same place so they were unable to shake each other. Alexander casually started walking faster and so Jefferson did as well because he was not going to get to the meeting later than him, that was for certain. Then Hamilton not so discreetly stuck his leg out. Jefferson started walking even faster. “You’re such a child.”

  
Hamilton shrugged. “You should pay more attention to where you’re going. It’s not my fault if you get in the way of my leg.” He was practically jogging.

  
“Why are you in such a hurry? You’ve never seemed to mind being late before.”

  
“Your mind is failing you in your old age, Jefferson. I’m not the one who’s late. And I won’t be today either.” Did Thomas just elbow him? He definitely did that on purpose. It was on now.

  
Watching these grown men fight like children might have been entertaining if they weren’t so destructive in their way of doing it. Completely oblivious to their surroundings, they both smashed into a woman. She dropped something glass and it shattered. They all stopped.

  
Thomas put on a friendly smile. “Ma’am, I’m very sorry about his behavior-”

  
“ _My_ behavior? You hit me first! I was just defending myself.” He turned back to the lady. “We’ll be happy to pay for any damages that he might’ve caused-”

  
Thomas cut him off. “He has a habit of breaking things. Whether it’s congress or-”

  
Alexander shot a glare his way and continued, “Well, you know how Virginians don’t like to take responsibility for their mistakes-”

  
“Both of you!” The woman snapped. “Both of you need to learn a lesson. No one can walk this way without fearing running into you two, fighting over nonsense. I’ll be paid back when you learn how to compromise.” She snapped her fingers.

Hamilton found himself looking down at her and Jefferson found himself looking up. They looked at each other. They saw their own faces staring back. Curse words were exchanged and when they looked back to the lady for explanation, she was gone.

“You look like me.” They spoke simultaneously. “Ew, really?” They looked at the store window parallel to them. Their reflections confirmed it.

“This is gross. I feel dirty.” Jefferson spoke with Hamilton’s voice. That was weird.

“You’re telling me. You’re the last person I would ever want to be inside of. Ew, I made it worse.”

Jefferson closed his eyes. His bucket list certainly didn’t include hearing Hamilton speak with his voice. His head started to hurt. It might not have been his body, but it was a migraine he knew well. “For once in your life, stop talking. We have to find her and fix this.”

  
Hamilton nodded, and noticed his curls bounced when he did. So he did it again. “How do you focus when you’ve got this going on? It’s so distracting.”

  
“How do you always look up at people? Doesn’t your neck hurt?” He retorted.

  
“Wow, okay, first of all-wait a minute, I’m super tall now. I’m taller than you! Ha, this whole situation got a little bit better.”

  
Jefferson rolled his eyes. “Anyway, let’s go ask around to see if anyone knows her. She probably did witchcraft before. We can expect a trail of weird to be following her.”

  
Hamilton was pulling on a curl, watching it spring back into place. Suddenly his eyes widened. “What about the meeting. We can’t miss it.”

  
“Shit.” He tried to think of a solution. But they needed to get there fast. “Alright, I'll figure something out but for now you’ll just have to pretend to be me.”

  
“What? I don't want to do that! Anyway, _I’m_ the one who’s going to figure this out.”

  
“Do you think I want to be you anymore than you want to be me? This is going to be awful but we just have to suck it up. We can’t just skip a meeting. We’d lose our reputations and maybe even our jobs.”

  
“...you're right. I guess being in my body means some of my right-ness has rubbed off on you. Let's go. And don't say anything I wouldn't!” Hamilton started walking.

  
Jefferson rolled his eyes and followed him. “There's only like two things in the English language you wouldn't say. It won't be that hard.”

  
Okay, so it was harder than he thought. Washington was standing way too close to him and seemed like he was expecting something while Madison was trying to talk to Hamilton about something. Hamilton had smacked his head into like three different things and Jefferson had ducked when there was really no need. They both kept responding to the wrong names. The meeting hadn't even begun and it was already a total disaster.

  
Washington began the meeting like most ones. “Alright Jefferson, you have the floor.” No response. “Jefferson?” Hamilton dropped his quill, snapping out of his daze.

  
“Oh, right. That's me.” He laughed nervously. “I mean, of course that's me!” No response. He coughed uncomfortably. Jefferson felt his headache coming back. A good idea came to Hamilton. Well, it felt like a good idea at the time. “Right! I wanted to talk about something really important to me. I know I may have seemed like a stubborn ass in the past, but I've started to actually listen to reason lately and have come to the conclusion that I actually do support Hamilton’s debt plan.” The congress was shocked. Madison didn't look up but everyone else was pretty shocked.

  
Jefferson stood up abruptly. He couldn't believe Hamilton would-actually, this was a Hamilton thing to do. But two could play this game. “Well, about that, you all know how sporadic I can be, I've decided to completely change it. I'll have the new version before you know it because I'm hyperactive and too busy writing to satisfy my wife.”

  
Hamilton was offended. And no good things have ever come from that. “At least you have someone who loves you! I'm only in love with France! Also I hate democracy!”

  
“I can't even spell democracy!”

  
Before Hamilton could respond, Washington stood up. “Hamilton. Jefferson. Meet me in the hall. Now.” They obediently followed him out, murmuring filling the room as they left.

  
Before Washington could start, Hamilton pulled on one of his curls. “When we're done here I'm going to go cut my hair. It gets in my way too much.”

  
Hamilton kept crossing lines and Jefferson was not about to be outplayed. “Well I'm going to go have sex with Eliza.”

“I'm going to tell Madison I hate him.”

  
“Well I'm going to tell Burr I love him then have sex with him.”

  
“Why-why do you just want to have sex with everyone? And do you really think that'll destroy my reputation? Everyone knows I get around!”

  
“Will you both stop!” Washington barked and they fell silent. “What is going on? Neither of you are making a lick of sense.”

  
“No offense sir, but I don't think you'd understand-” Hamilton started.

  
“Try me, boy. I've seen a lot in my years.”

  
They glanced at each other. Hamilton shrugged and Jefferson sighed. And then Hamilton started talking and didn't stop until their situation was explained.

  
“So you're telling me that you,” Washington pointed at Jefferson. “Are actually Thomas? And you,” he looked to Hamilton. “Are actually Alexander?” They nodded. He sighed. “Your story makes enough sense, I suppose. Alright, I'll help you. But you two have to agree to work together. I can't do this unless you're cooperating.”

  
“But he's impossible!” They had started saying things at the same time. A habit they both hoped would disappear.

  
This was going to be a lot more difficult than Washington hoped. “Look, the witch said she'd consider herself repaid when you're able to work together. Maybe that's all you need to do to fix this.”

  
Hamilton opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. Then looked at Jefferson. “...fine. Let's try. The only thing I have to lose is my dignity. So, Jefferson. You’re an intolerable jerk, but I am willing to try and reach a verdict with you.”

  
Jefferson crossed his arms. “You're an insufferable know it all, but as long as we both know it, I'll try to establish some sort of compromise with you.”

  
Washington nodded. “Alright, now hug it out.” They both whined, but Washington didn't respond. The only way they were getting out of this was if they hugged.

  
Hamilton awkwardly put his arms around Jefferson, who gave him an awkward pat. “You're short,” he whispered.

  
“Fuck you,” he whispered back. But there was a sort of mutual respect that came with it.

  
And with that, suddenly, they were back where they belonged. Their hug became real in the excitement, but then they both quickly let go and gave the other a disgusted look.

  
And the meeting was able to carry on like normal. They had learned ultimately nothing from the experience, but now they were more careful of where they fought. After the meeting ended, Jefferson pulled Madison aside.

  
“So, just so you know, when I said I agreed with his plan-”

  
“It wasn't you. I know.” Madison looked bored. “As soon as I started talking to ‘you’ I knew it wasn't actually you. Wasn't it obvious?”

  
Okay, so another thing was learned. Madison had an incredible power of observation that edged on being downright scary.


End file.
